No. 20 - Building your Belief System with Aycee Brown
How do you make sense of the world when it doesn't make sense?
My friend and psychic medium Aycee Brown came back to shed insight on how we build our own belief systems based on the impact of our upbringing and how that shapes the spiritual practices we grow into as adults. Ace and I have undefined G Centers, and we get into our personal journeys with religion, how we were steeped in spiritual or non-spiritual thought, and the influence key family members had on each of us. We even consider why our own parents and grandparents practiced what they did, considering their own traumas.
We discuss how our conscious and unconscious belief systems affect us in business, creative pursuits, participating in worldly events, and even falling in love! Some of the most interesting Human Design theories to me express how our concept of religion will shift and change as the needs of the people shift and change with their concept of god, divinity and what is holy to them, but not before we experience an increase in the divide and diversification that could ultimately lead to new forms of unification.
Here's my friend's beautiful Colour Palette:
AYCEE BROWN
Design Type: 3/5 EMO-PROJECTOR
Colour Palette: InDirect / Valleys / Probability / Guilt
Here's a Highlight of her InSights:
How we’re each using AI to build our work in the world
Exploring how our past experiences shaped our current belief systems
Re-examining just how religious we were actually raised
What school was like as kids and how it shaped us
Carrying different beliefs than some family members
How the concept of Church is shifting
Exploring the beliefs created around our Emotional Experiences and traumas
Aycee’s opinion on wtf happened with Doreen Virtue!
Find Aycee’s work at:
ayceebrown.com
@ayceebrown
Is My Aura On Straight?
Magical Mutha F’n Mondays
Spiritual Erotica album
Aycee Brown: 0:00
I had an astrologer. You could take this out. I don't want this in. I had an astrologer tell me because I have Mercury and Aquarius. It's in my third house. She's like you can become a millionaire if you learn how to use AI.
Vaness Henry: 0:16
Yeah
Aycee Brown: 0:19
because of where Aquarius is gonna, where Pluto's gonna be in my chart.
Vaness Henry: 0:24
Wow.
Aycee Brown: 0:25
For the next 21 years. She's like you have Mercury there and my South node is there and it's in my third house of like communication and all that stuff. She was like you could make millions of dollars.
Vaness Henry: 0:35
I hear you Like it's really changed my business just in. I have felt really held back in some like creative expression on things I want to create or see or do, and it's like I didn't have the right, I don't know. And so now just it's, and it's happened so fast. I feel like it's really wild. I'm still just learning how to use it.
Aycee Brown: 0:52
Like it's just so vast that it's like what I probably was afraid of is I have to remember, like, even though I use it as a help or what I like doing is I talk into it and I ask it to edit for me. That's usually what I use it for. I just like sit with my mic and I just talk into it. Oh, that's cool.
Vaness Henry: 1:15
It's so interesting to hear people use it. I use it for visual generation. Oh, I want to see this and this and that and this.
Aycee Brown: 1:23
Have you done images already for it? What do you mean Like, have you?
Vaness Henry: 1:26
created images. Yes, that's what I mean. Like I make, I make the visuals I want to see.
Aycee Brown: 1:32
Oh wow, how has that been? I don't know, it's amazing that's.
Vaness Henry: 1:35
I mean it's really changed Like that's what I use in my wellness club because I want there to be big cats walking in your home.
Aycee Brown: 1:42
I was like this is so cute yeah. Yeah, no, and it looks good and you have a design background.
Vaness Henry: 1:49
Yeah, so well it's. You have to figure out how to talk to it. That's what I mean. So it's so interesting.
Aycee Brown: 1:52
That's why I was telling people like, and that's why I say I put up my mic literally and then it fills in stuff for you, all of that stuff.
Vaness Henry: 2:11
And then I just talk and then I just accident to edit it. Jazz was showing me how she uses it. I think I shared it with you. I shared it with Derek. She like she's like design, my, she was a pocom design, my perfect day. Or she gave me this like script to use and I'm like you. Three fives need to just like share these scripts with us on how to figure out these stupid things that none of us know how to do. Like I feel like that's what you're showing me right now, like oh, I just tell it to edit me. I'm like I would never think I'm doing that?
Aycee Brown: 2:31
Just edit me. Yeah, because I can talk all over the place and just blab, so I just talk and then tell it to edit.
Vaness Henry: 2:44
Keep this in. I'll keep this in. I think the episode should start this way. Thank you.
Vaness Henry:
It's Vanessa Henry. You're listening to Insights, my private podcast exclusively for community members like you. Here's my latest insight. Welcome to the show, Aycee Brown.
Aycee Brown: 3:11
Hello
Vaness Henry: 3:13
no, but that was so helpful. Like just, I don't know the 3/5 has such a way of figuring things out. It's just so helpful, like I'm like, of course, editing, oh my God, like there's so much newness and ways to use it that I don't even know what I don't know. Yeah, so to hear these new ideas. It's like just it creates new ideas for me to even think about. Well, why don't I ask it to do that? Or what app should I actually use? Like, I mentioned poe.com, but like, what do you use?
Aycee Brown: 3:49
I use either chat or Claude.
Vaness Henry: 3:50
Chat or Claude. Okay, I've never heard it. Chat Claude Poe. I just use Shutterstock generation for for visuals.
Aycee Brown: 3:55
Claude, is really nice. Claude is really intelligent and they're very ethical, okay.
Vaness Henry: 4:04
Yeah, like I don't even, I don't know, I don't know what I don't know. So well, today we have an intention.
Aycee Brown: 4:12
We have an intention.
Vaness Henry: 4:14
We were chit-chatting the other day and we kind of got into G-Center conversations, which you and I tend to do because you're totally open there. I'm undefined. That's one of the most conditioned areas in our designs. You had this little family shakeup and you always talk to me about, you know your abandonment wounds and how you're increasing your awareness on that and how you work with your therapist and your team to take care of yourself. And I, when listening to you, was kind of reflecting on well, what is the belief system, on how I understand reality, make sense of reality, what I choose to believe in for myself, what practices were left from to me, from my ancestors, which do I resonate with and which do I not? And you know what I mean. So what are you? What's your concept of the belief system? What is that to you?
Aycee Brown: 5:04
first, before I get into anything, oh gosh, a belief system for me are like foundations and rituals and routines that connect you to source, that connect you to spirituality that connect you to something bigger than yourself, higher than yourself outside of yourself. That's what it is for me.
Vaness Henry: 5:28
I'm just having the afterthought that you've been on the show before, so I'm just, like everybody knows, my friend AC Brown the three five psychic, emotional projector, valleys. I like medium better. Now. Medium we're doing see. See, I love that. I said this because now you can correct me and I can have better emphasis. We're going with medium, we're shifting the identity. Psychic medium, psychic medium, psychic medium, psychic medium. Yeah, AC Brown. Psychic medium, penthouse, chic, luxury, hot, sexy emotional, all of that. Sorry that belief system G center, yeah all of that.
Vaness Henry: 6:03
Sorry that belief system G center, I'm plopping in little identity things. Psychic medium that's cute. May I ask what prompted that? Just because I've been doing lots of psychic to call me their shaman and I was like oh fuck.
Vaness Henry: 6:27
Okay, there's my call. Okay, shit, shit, shit, I got it. You know, it's a story I've been taught to wait for, and then when it happens, it's like, oh my God, what do I do? But I just cringe of like, oh my God, like people are going to come for me Cause I'm like the white woman trying to do that, you know. So I'm like, yes, you are, that's what you shouldn't worry about. But it's like that's that's who you are, so make fun of it. That's your costume, that's what. That's what you were gifted with.
Vaness Henry: 6:49
So that's what we're doing. Who cares? So I'm playing with now shamanic practitioners that I can be like look, you got to start seeing me this way. So it's neat to hear the evolution in identity and what we call ourselves, especially, especially for people who have, don't have a defined sense of self, like us.
Aycee Brown: 7:06
Well, I would. I would disagree with that. Ok, let's talk about it. I would say that I do have a defined sense of self.
Vaness Henry: 7:18
I have a foundation but I'm always building. Yeah, I feel a big teaching I've just kind of gone through is like realizing my past selves, my past lives. You know these characters I've been are still with me and a part of me. You know I can drop into the protective defender. You know I can drop into these different, the finance guy, I can drop into the crystal reader, like whatever, and I can recall these people, these identities, back into now and I can use them Like they're still a part of me. They can just come and express themselves differently Sometimes.
Vaness Henry: 7:54
You know, I have like the perfectionist in me and that person can be really controlling because they're trying to protect me from the world hurting me and while it's like thank you for doing that Also, you're limiting me. Now let's put you to work somewhere else. Perfectionist, where might I be able to reassign you so that you have something to do Like you're a part of me? So I kind of like I've been claiming, reclaiming these past selves to create the multifaceted expression that I am now and I'm not just the perfectionist, I'm not just the finance guy, the finance bro. You know what I mean. I'm all these things and then I just kind of let myself be a multifaceted expression where these different angles can come out. Sometimes, you know, sometimes the identity was like I'm a human design reader, I'm an astrologer, I'm a psychic, I'm a you know, and sometimes you do need like a title just to let other people know like who you are, what you do, I guess. But sometimes that's not always easy to define.
Aycee Brown: 8:55
Yes, I agree, I agree, and cute sound, I think you have to. I think you also have to be willing to explore different titles as well.
Vaness Henry: 9:14
Easy, I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more. And how fun, what a privilege, what an opportunity. I can go play this. Now I can go play. Author. Now I can go play.
Aycee Brown: 9:24
You know how fun yeah, I did a live today and, um, I was talking to someone who helped me with my book proposal and she was like, yeah, I see you writing so many books now and I was like, yeah, I think I have like maybe three or five. She was like I see much more than that. And I was just like, oh, oh, three or five. She was like I see much more than that. And I was just like, oh, really. And so she was like, yeah, that's what I'm claiming for you. I think you can definitely spend the rest of your career writing books because you're a great author. And I was just like, interesting, because I have that to add to my title. Now, yes, I always knew I wanted to be an author since I was a very young kid and I have my fascination with books and journals and things like that. But the identity of it I never really understood what that meant, especially because this book took so much out of me.
Vaness Henry: 10:18
Yeah.
Aycee Brown: 10:19
I hear you. It took so much out of me. So the identities that we have around our belief system can get in, get in the way of, I would say, our destiny or even our purpose. Yeah, I'm noticing, and I think we talked about this and this is where why this kind of happened. I'm noticing, especially talking about this pluto and capricorn to pluto and aquarius transit, that's right, right, a moment, a moment, a moment, yeah, a moment.
Vaness Henry: 10:52
This is a big deal because pluto is leaving capricorn somewhere. It's been for a significant amount of time and 2008, and it is never going to be here again in this sign in our lifetime. So that's. It's just. That planet is the most external planet, moves so slow between the signs it's now shifting into Aquarius. This is something that we're going to really be feeling over the next while. What's your perspective on this?
Aycee Brown: 11:18
I'm in. This is how we got to belief systems. I'm noticing a wave of people trying to hold on to religion yeah, in the old sense of it and they're claiming reclaiming christianity or there's. You know, they're this big resurgence, and it's just. I was like, oh no, guys, don't do this, it's gonna be really painful, like don't do this.
Vaness Henry: 11:40
It would make sense that this would happen, though, like anytime, like it's just. This is just polarity, right, like if something's getting louder over here, it's going to get louder over here. So this is just part of the mutation.
Aycee Brown: 11:49
Yeah Right, it would make sense. But at the same time it's like, oh, this could be so much easier If you allow this transit to open you up to the possibilities of religion, of spirituality, and how you can be spiritual and still have religious foundations or belief systems that kind of guide you. But you can build on top of that with spirituality.
Vaness Henry: 12:16
And a lot of religious structures and concepts are based on a culture's belief system and you know, sometimes shamanic practices, like it starts with a spiritual tone and it becomes like tribal or something. That's when the rules here's how we do it and there's people that will. There's a type of person who gets a lot of safety in that and the spirituality that kind of comes beyond. That, I think, comes back to the individual and the collective rather than the tribe energy kind of in there and the structure. So what's your relationship to God, what's your relationship to yourself? And that feels I think we use the language of spiritual because there's not so much of a container or containment around that belief Right and I have a relationship with God.
Aycee Brown: 13:00
I tell people all the time because people all automatically assume a relationship with God means you're religious.
Vaness Henry: 13:08
People think it means you're Christian.
Aycee Brown: 13:11
And it's like no, that's not what it is.
Vaness Henry: 13:13
No and yeah, like it's usually like we know there's multiple religions, but when someone talks about God like that, it's like, oh, they're a Christian.
Aycee Brown: 13:22
It's like no, I'm not. I don'tianity okay, I have a foundation in it and in catholicism, but my relationship with god is vast, it's omnipresent. It's so much deeper than religious confines or constructs like it's bigger than that. So, yeah, I'm.
Vaness Henry: 13:42
I think this is really the G center too, though, like your concept of what you believe in, what you resonate with, what you know, how you understand God in and of itself. How does somebody with an undefined sense of self, who's learning how to define that for them throughout their life, who's learning as they go these different things? And you're, I guess you could say, steeped in Christianity, or maybe have a Catholic background or something like that, and also are now a psychic medium. These are facets of your beliefs that create a value system in you. Where you will spend your time, where you invest your time, connects to other parts of you, cause that's sounding very ego. You know, how do you make sense of the world around you when you don't have a strong background, what you're steeped in If you don't have religion?
Vaness Henry: 14:37
A lot of people, especially now, don't have strong cultural religious ties, and you're kind of trying to figure out for yourself well, what do I, what do I believe in, what do I? And it you're kind of trying to figure out for yourself. Well, what do I, what do I believe in, what do I? And it's always kind of based on what your parents taught you or whatever, but there is this aspect of kind of self-discovery, what's that journey been like for you?
Aycee Brown: 14:56
I mean, my parents weren't religious okay, they just had a foundation of church, right. My grandmother was religious, but she had a concept of spirituality, so I got like the best of both worlds so that was a help for those of people who don't have that.
Vaness Henry: 15:27
It is important that you know what becomes their church. You know, like, what becomes that for them anything could be church, yeah totally the gym could be church, totally coffee shop could be church baseball diamond anything could be church for you.
Aycee Brown: 15:44
You reading books can be church. Yeah, all of that can be church. So what is church? It's a place where people commune, or where you commune to find god. Yeah, love that, and god is you. God is a lot of things. Your neighbor you're. Yeah, right, it's a lot of things. So that's kind of the big thing is that it can be so many things.
Vaness Henry: 16:09
It doesn't have to be this yeah, it just yeah, it doesn't have to be this, this thing so we're seeing this amplification of clinging to old structures for security and making sense of the world, yes, instead of perhaps letting go into the fluidity of the beyond. I could see why that would be scary for some people. I could see why people would really become like like we were talking about doreen virtue, who is like, famous for like, like, like angel tarot and like you know all these, she said.
Aycee Brown: 16:47
Oh no, I'm christian. Now, all those words are blasphemy. Don't take, don't buy any of my things nothing like a total 180 I was like what happened to her what was the event? What was the event that happened? Yeah, what was the canon event that happened? What do you think Hot goss what's your what's your?
Vaness Henry: 17:05
you know what could have possibly happened there, what probably happened there? Probability view Tell me. Listen to her. Hey, this is going to be, we're going to love it. I can't wait. I can't wait. Say it because of a man, oh man oh okay, like someone that she like was romantic somebody who she's romantically involved with.
Aycee Brown: 17:28
That does it because that's the only way it makes sense to me for her to completely lose her entire business, her just a dude fucking with her shit hey somebody jealous of her? Yeah, a man jealous of her. How could? How it's because it's not like I don't think she abused her power, but she built a life for herself. Yes, and and a life of legacy for herself.
Aycee Brown: 17:53
Yeah, she created money and things like for herself on her own, through her own spiritual divinity, and it was probably a man who said are you sure this doesn't seem of god something, something crazy it might not have been a romantic interest. It could have been a pastor, could have been someone trying to keep her down. Oh, wow, yeah, that's honestly what I think. That's the only thing that makes sense. So, doreen.
Vaness Henry: 18:24
Virtue, everyone Doreen Virtue not even Doreen can escape Pluto energy patriarchy crazy. Yeah, you'd think that someone with all that success you know, but but?
Aycee Brown: 18:38
who knows right, because that's all like what what's her design type?
Vaness Henry: 18:42
do we know? Geneticmatrixcom? Geneticmatrixcom, we're checking door. No, I don't have her. I gotta look in celebrity charts. What am I doing? What am I doing, ac? Oh my god, my computer's crashing. It's like you will not wait, where is it at? Um research, nope education. How do I do this easy?
Aycee Brown: 19:06
it's not working.
Vaness Henry: 19:07
It's not working um, I did it well, you go into like genetic matrix okay I never knew this what charts and people. They have this huge list.
Aycee Brown: 19:17
I never go in there. I just go in with my people where they're at all right.
Vaness Henry: 19:21
Let's see, doreen doreen virtue, she'sen Virtue, she's a 1-4. Oh interesting.
Aycee Brown: 19:27
A 1-4 what?
Vaness Henry: 19:28
66 years old Emotional manifesting generator, ac Brown. Totally open head, totally open G center. That makes sense, fascinating. That makes sense. Every single motor is defined, the spleen is defined and the throat is defined.
Aycee Brown: 19:43
Yeah, she's got energy to make shit, man holy, that's intense yeah so that is, it's a man, only possibility, it's the only possibility.
Vaness Henry: 19:55
You know your probability view and you're telling us look, it's probably a man, it's probably a man, that is fucking funny.
Aycee Brown: 20:01
This is what happened. That's not funny, it's tragic. Let me look at her hd needle chart. Let me see some of her placements yeah, reader to fill facey brown it's a man, she's a free, she's a taurus in the fifth house, it's a man and she has a pisces, venus and a mars oh, it's over.
Vaness Henry: 20:20
It's a man. It's over, it's over. Fall in love with the wrong guy.
Aycee Brown: 20:23
It's because of a man her saturn's in the 12th house. She has pluto and libra in the eight, leo in the eighth house.
Vaness Henry: 20:32
She's a cap what's your, what's your interpretation, what's? Pluck some of these things out and then tell me a little so give me a little one letter what that means. It's a man.
Aycee Brown: 20:40
What it means is she has too many placements that want her to be wealthy, that want her to take care of herself, that want to provide stability for her.
Vaness Henry: 20:53
She doesn't need it.
Aycee Brown: 20:53
And completely eliminating and saying goodbye to something that you've built, because Capricorn is about building things.
Vaness Henry: 21:04
She's a Capricorn rising that you've built over time the totally open head stands out and is interesting to me too.
Aycee Brown: 21:12
Right, because, yeah, that, yeah, that's interesting because thoughts can just be planted right in there that's why I said, as a man, somebody else influenced her to do that, and and her north node is in scorpio, in the 11th house. Okay, that's interesting. Midheaven is scorpio, oh wow, in the 11th house. And so was her neptune in scorpio, in the 11th house it's a man.
Aycee Brown: 21:43
I love when you it's a man. I love when you read people with your and her virgo. Her virgo moon is in her ninth house. This is is nothing but the makings of a man it's, it's probably a dude.
Vaness Henry: 21:57
Ac brown says it's probably a dude. We don't know for sure.
Aycee Brown: 22:01
So everything needs to be fact-checked, but a really.
Vaness Henry: 22:04
Um, we don't educate a guest when you look, when you look at the sky when I look at this, a man is some the makings of a man so something about the belief system and religiosity.
Vaness Henry: 22:18
I was having conversations around when I started having a kid and my sister started having a kid and my sister so emphatically identified with being Catholic and I was like what do you mean you're Catholic? She's like, well, we were raised Catholic and I was like that doesn't mean I'm Catholic, right. And she was like it's in us, like it's, that's who we are. I was like do you go to church? What church do you belong to? Who's your pastor and how are you invested in the church?
Vaness Henry: 22:44
and she kind of she kind of looked at me and she wanted to baptize her kids and her husband was kind of like her husband's italian, so also had this okay, had a similar steeped in that, but he himself, I don't think, really gives two shits about that.
Vaness Henry: 22:57
You know what I mean and didn't really want to. My sister was like uh, and I was like I'm not baptized, what? Like you? Why do you think you have to do that? Though you're not practiced, you're not a practicing catholic, she's well, you have to like. She was just, she was just so about like the ritual. She didn't even like think about it in a way, you know, like no one had really gone well, like well, why are you doing that though? Like well, because because we're catholic.
Vaness Henry: 23:22
I'm like, are we who says and my husband he was like I also would have said said I was Catholic because that's how I was raised. And I looked at him. I was like we're not Catholic, like we had just we the shit on him right away. I'm like, what do we do that practices that? What do we do that is teaching that to our child? Is that really our belief system? And then at that point my husband started going on the journey of learning. His family members were in residential schools, which was indigenous kids taken from their culture to be whitewashed, and a lot of them were murdered.
Vaness Henry: 23:59
And a lot of them were recently discovered as being buried under the churches, and it was like a bunch of kids oh yeah, and so my son had a lot of feelings and questions about that and so he, my son's perspective of the church is like huh, but all his friends he's got a lot of friends who will like talk about God or go to church or make fun of Jesus is my homeboy, or you know what I mean. So he asked questions about it. But I noticed that his belief system is being more anchored in the indigenous side of our family rather than the Catholic kind of background. Like he learns more about, I would say like teachings and stories from an indigenous culture. He, he does. We don't. I don't teach him about the story of like Jesus, because for one, I don't really know it, and you know what I mean. I only learned about it this past summer with the Vervils and jazz and her family came out. I was like, can we watch this Jesus show so you can learn it? And they are all over that. So I had, I was learning it, but it's not something I'm like passing on.
Vaness Henry: 25:02
So, anyways, when I, when I was having these kind of confronting conversations with my family members, I was like why is everybody just defaulting to what was shown to us Like, if we're not actively receiving that and practicing that, like I was learning, they still identified as that and it showed me. Well, I do not like, if you do and you still identify that, that's fine, but I do not and I don't subscribe to those structures and I won't raise my family in that way, especially with who I've made a family with. They come with a history and a lineage of a very particular trauma that happens to be with the governing bodies of religion and churches. So, like I'm in this weird place where you have, I'm going to go practice some of these things and not contend with what they did to the indigenous people here. Like it's kind of like a you know what I mean.
Vaness Henry: 25:49
My sister was kind of like, but I'm I'm not experiencing that Like I don't come from that, but her, her partner, didn't really care either way and I can't remember if she followed through or proceeded with that. To be honest, I'm going to say no, but it was just interesting to me that we absorb the way we absorb things without question, right, and we absorb them without fully understanding what they are and then we just so heavily identify with them. Like I don't care what someone identifies with or what practice you know or if you have different. You know, my mom married a Jewish man and then my two stepsisters are Jewish.
Vaness Henry: 26:23
Like, there's all this culture and religion that's kind of interwoven and yet nobody really practices anything, right? Nobody really knows all the rules, nobody really knows all the stories, but it's kind of like around, but more so in a cultural context. Right, then, subscribing to what the belief systems are. So when you say you were growing up and your parents had a foundation of church, they had a foundation of going to gathering sites to commune with God, or did they have a ritual of going and practicing their Christianity or their solace?
Aycee Brown: 26:59
Oh, everybody in my all my aunts and uncles, they went to Catholic school Like yeah, my mom was taught by nuns yeah, so that's what I mean. My mom was the only one who didn't have my grandmother. Let them my grandfather and grandfather, grandmother and grandfather. Let them choose high school, but they for anything before high school. They went to catholic school. So, and then I have a cousin did you have?
Vaness Henry: 27:24
did you pray in school? No, you didn't like every every morning to start school, we had to say the lord's prayer and stand for the national anthem yeah, no, we didn't. I went to a gifted and talented school oh, excuse me, so I did not know you did. You don't have to do that there it's totally fine.
Aycee Brown: 27:41
Um, so no, I said like we did, but it was also like my principal in my school went to, grew up actually with my dad's mother in Augusta Georgia. So it was very, very interesting. So we didn't. We sung the national anthem and during assembly we sung the black national anthem lift every voice. Yes, so we did that every day. I know what this lift every voice. Yes, so we did that every day. This is cool.
Vaness Henry: 28:09
So we did that every day, or whenever we had assembly or whatever, but we didn't pray, so I don't know why I did like when I was really little, I know, on maybe once a month there was like some kids went to a Catholic class and then the other kids who didn't sign up or parents didn't want them to go to that, they just went to Bible studies and they just went in colored pictures.
Vaness Henry: 28:31
I went to that and then that just like stopped maybe in like grade three, I don't know, or low grade, and in high school there was nothing but like my kid, oh no, in high school I had to stand for the national anthem to start the day. My kid doesn't pray, he doesn't stand for the national anthem to start the day. My kid doesn't pray, he doesn't stand for the national anthem. That's not how none of those things are built into the way he's being educated and raised. And it just made me think, like why was I like? Why was I made to stand for the nation, stand, say the Lord's prayer for God, and if you didn't sign the form to pray, you had to go stand in the hall.
Vaness Henry: 29:05
Like you were cast out, like we had um a few Jehovah witness kids and so they would all at that time go file out and they were like othered. You know what I mean. And then there were a couple of kids who weren't Jehovah witness kids but their parents were like no, we're not doing the Lord's prayer, and they'd go stand and they were othered. Like it's so weird, like why, like you had to get approved to do it. And then it was like this weird teaching ritual, like to be patriotic and, I guess, have a relationship with God, like you're saying the Lord's Prayer, they're teaching you that. But right.
Vaness Henry: 29:37
It seems weird now that I'm an adult.
Aycee Brown: 29:39
I mean because it was forced on you.
Vaness Henry: 29:41
So yeah, it's weird, yeah, it is a bit, and then that's not being forced on my kid and so it's like oh right, not everybody had that. I don't think I was like I wasn't in a particularly religious school. Maybe I was, I don't know. I'm reevaluating now.
Aycee Brown: 29:54
It sounds like it.
Vaness Henry: 29:55
I was in a very, very small French town, french village, basically I grew up in a French village. Oh my God, I'm fucking Belle from Beauty and the Beast except I'm the beast no you're Celine Dion, except I'm the beast.
Vaness Henry: 30:07
Celine Dion, yeah, we love her God, okay, canadian royalty right there. But this town, a huge part of it, the parish, the council, it was a church and a convent. And the church, the nuns, were the educators. You know, they're the ones who slapped the kids on the wrist with the little rulers and kept them in line. It was kind of like a little bit of a maybe not, we wouldn't, you know, we wouldn't do that. Now. That's who then raised the first kind of kids there, kind of you know. And then it became these public schools and it just kind of, I think, got watered down with each generation. But perhaps what I'm realizing is, yeah, it was built. That town was built on a French Catholic. So I guess that would be a part of my root system. Right, that would be a part of my belief system.
Vaness Henry: 30:52
And so it was interesting to see that my sister identified with that so much like as a part of our family, and I was like, no, thank you, like I might come from that, but that's not who I am, it's not the entirety of me, and she just didn't care, she didn't think about it, so she was ready to just of me. And she just didn't care, she didn't think about it, so she was ready to just resubscribe, I think. But I think just because so much of my work is, you know, exploring the healing patterns, the religions, the spiritual practices of various cultures around the world, like it was just interest. That's more interesting to me. And I'm undefined and she's defined, yeah, so she might've just locked in and that's okay and that's enough for her defined.
Vaness Henry: 31:27
Yeah so she might've just locked in and that's okay, and that's enough for her. Yeah, so going back into your world, you have parents who are anchored with church. You're taken to church Sometimes, okay, like I did, like a little first communion, little confirmation. Did you have any little like formal rituals?
Aycee Brown: 31:43
No, my mom did not do that Okay.
Vaness Henry: 31:50
They didn't want to. So we know there's a structure in the background of your life, but then there's obviously a huge spiritual component and there's maybe aunties and uncles who are kind of showing you that. What's that side of life like?
Aycee Brown: 31:59
Well, that's mostly my grandmother. That's what I'm saying. My grandmother, my grandmother, was more of the spiritual liaison for everyone, so she had. My grandfather was actually catholic. My grandmother grew up baptist, like southern baptist kind of thing, started to really get wind of just other things outside of spirituality and stuff. So and she shared that with you yeah, she shared that with me, with with all of us. She shared that with all of us.
Vaness Henry: 32:41
So I don't know but that clearly had an impact on you. Yeah, I don't know.
Aycee Brown: 32:45
But that clearly had an impact on you. Yeah, I don't know life without. I don't know life without spirituality or without having a relationship to God. Does that make sense?
Vaness Henry: 33:00
Yeah, I never felt like I like growing up or whatever. I never felt like I had a relationship with God. That's not something I would have said as a kid, you know. That's like not something that I didn't. I don't think I would have thought about it that way, I don't know. You know, but I like, after my dad passed away, my, my mom was, was the religious parent. My dad was like no, thank you, I think. But what I've learned since he was raised religious and then kind of threw it out when he went on the roof and my mom didn't have a safe home and her grandma always went to church. So my mom went with her because the church became safe, because she had a not safe home.
Aycee Brown: 33:38
OK so.
Vaness Henry: 33:38
I could see why in my mom's story. It really became an anchor for her and when my dad passed away she really leaned on it and I remember our house was really always surrounded. All her decor was angels. There was fucking angel statues all over my house growing up angel everywhere, angel, angels, angels, angels everywhere. And that was when I started to have more of a resistance, because then my mom was like you need to come to church, we're going through something we need to, and I was to come to church.
Aycee Brown: 34:07
We're going through something we need to and I was like, wait, we're going through something, you need to go to church yeah, like we lost the, the father of our home.
Vaness Henry: 34:13
We're going through something as a family. We need to go to church, like that was kind of I think the emotional generators way. It was her way of processing right, she needed help, she knew community, she needed that sense of security and she would. Just she took us with her and and I hated it.
Aycee Brown: 34:27
Like I was like don't you fucking drag me here and that's when like drag me to church, mom, please no and I remember there was like moments of me yelling at her in the backyard.
Vaness Henry: 34:36
you know, my sister was like just come, like just go, and I was like no, I don't, I'm not. No, like I don't want to go. And that was some of my most manifestor heart experiences as a child was trying to be dragged to church and me being like no. And then the priest coming and being like now you're going to do your first communion, your confirmation. I was like no, I'm not, I'm not doing that. So they made you have to go I wouldn't AC and you had to like go do this little rituals and ceremonies in the church with all the kids, and I was like I'm not fucking doing that?
Aycee Brown: 35:11
Yeah, I didn't do I didn't do it.
Vaness Henry: 35:11
My mom my mom brought the priest to my house. He came to my house and I had to do it. I was like no, no, no. And she was like, then he'll come here and make it like I had no choice in the matter.
Vaness Henry: 35:17
And so I think that is just so. That's really what set in like no, I don't want I, that's not. I think that I could have had a different relationship with it, but, based on the way it was presented to me during a time of vulnerability and trauma, it was not what I would have chose to cope with.
Aycee Brown: 35:35
Right.
Vaness Henry: 35:37
And so there was a very key moment where my mom just then gave up on me in that way and I was like don't you fucking worry, I'm going to go make build my life around God, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Like like you, don't be afraid, I'm going to go to hell. I don't even believe in that mom. I'm already in hell. Look at our life, like my dad just died.
Aycee Brown: 35:55
Like you know what I mean, You're like, I'm already here, girl.
Vaness Henry: 35:58
Oh yeah, you could ask me anything, I'll answer anything. I was like am I in hell? And he's like, of course you're not in hell. Like of course you're not in hell. I was like, well, if I get to hell and I'm being burned every day, am I going to see my neighbor being burned? And he was like oh, my like just.
Aycee Brown: 36:16
I was cause.
Vaness Henry: 36:17
I was just wanting to upset him Like cause I was like great.
Aycee Brown: 36:20
Who was this person?
Vaness Henry: 36:21
Like get her out, poor man's like I'm pretty sure my office now. No, he was in my living room because he came into my house. But you're in my house, bitch, like you know what I mean. Like this little fucking 11 year old kid like and I'm pretty sure he was like a queer guy, like not out you know what I mean like probably the best type of person who could come and like, be gentle with me and be like, okay, you poor, traumatized little baby, let's talk about, about God.
Vaness Henry: 36:45
And I was like we will not. I will ask you about the devil, then I'll ask you about angels. I'll ask you about everything. Yeah, that makes sense. So, I was a delight in church. You know what I mean. I was delight. The only thing that got me going. My mom tricked me. She's so sneaky. She made me join the choir.
Aycee Brown: 37:02
Oh, okay, well, that was beneficial. Oh, I love to sing yeah.
Vaness Henry: 37:05
Then they were like oh, you can sing, we're going to give you solos. And I was like, okay, I'll show up, I'll wait for my turn to sing.
Aycee Brown: 37:11
You're like great A solo. Absolutely, I'll stay here for the shit.
Vaness Henry: 37:16
I sang in the church. I hated the church. But then they were like come sing, you're going to give me a solo, great, yeah. And you know what, when I was a tween, I was, um, a really kind of competitive singer and I had, you know, some opportunities, even in LA, that I never pursued and I was just kind of, it was around me, so I was.
Vaness Henry: 37:34
Anywhere I could sing, I would, I would sing. It didn't matter, it was a church, you know what I mean. So, anyways, they tricked me, they got me, and the acoustics in a church are like nothing else. You know, it's's like, it's just an amazing singing environment. Well, that makes sense. Singing and being a singer ac is a huge piece of my identity. That's like a huge part of, like that undefined g center that I like weirdly identify with. Yeah, but I did have a moment of like giving that up because I, you know you have to realize like, okay, I'm only an okay singer, I'm not a great singer. Like I can't really do anything with this maybe you don't think you're a good singer.
Vaness Henry: 38:08
I think you're a good singer. I actually, now that I'm older, think I was a better songwriter and that's what I wanted to do write songs. Yeah, I put too much emphasis on being an amazing singer, which I wasn't an amazing and the reason why I didn't pursue songwriting is because I could.
Aycee Brown: 38:21
I didn't think I can sing and I was told you have to be able to sing to write songs. Yeah, which was not true.
Vaness Henry: 38:29
Well, I was trying to be Adele you know what I mean. Like I wasn't realizing I could be a fucking songwriter.
Aycee Brown: 38:34
So I wasn't doing that. Now, I was trying to be Adele child. I just wanted to write songs. Well, cause.
Vaness Henry: 38:40
I loved being on stage and I loved having a microphone. I love being loud with a mic. I love and I would get into character on stage. You know there's a transformance, a transform, a transformance, a transforming performance. Okay, there was something that would happen and it was like, uh, one of the most amazing outlets. And just the other day I was like in a vulnerable moment and really needing to process and I just started singing. Oh, that's nice. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. My default is not crying or not like I need to get it out. I just started singing some random song and I literally felt better. And you know, there is an old teaching that's like when did I stop singing? When did I stop dancing? When did I stop telling?
Aycee Brown: 39:21
stories.
Vaness Henry: 39:22
When did I stop? You know, that's when you lose yourself. And I definitely stopped singing, even though that it, like, dominates my first life phase. That's what I was doing, you know, and part of this evolution I've been going on with all this astrology, the eclipses in the fall, the new moons, the Pluto shift, and like all this intense energy was I'm not a teacher shift, and like all this intense energy was I'm not a teacher. I know everybody's telling me I'm a teacher, I'm an artist who has teachings and I might one day come off the roof and be some kind of teacher. I get it, but I used to write books. Okay, I get, I used to make music I used to like.
Vaness Henry: 40:04
My friends are like I want to be an author. Author I'm like. I've been an author for a decade. Here are my books. Here are the stories I wrote. Why do I not share that? Here are the songs I've done. Here are the ways I write music.
Vaness Henry: 40:13
Still, why am I here's the tarot deck or the oracle deck I want to make here like I forgot that I was like a artistic creator okay and I got really, for a long time, focused on learning concept studies and teaching them to other people as a way of teaching myself, and I just kind of got like got to this place of like I had some shifting in my ninth house AC. You know, higher, some higher learning was like what's fun for me to do? I like to create. I stopped creating. Create I stopped creating. I started creating in different ways, but I stopped making the things I love. I stopped doing the things that I love and I forgot that I can do the things I love and make a really good life for myself doing that. I don't have to do these, I don't know. You just got stuck in this like business, entrepreneur way of making a living online and this recycle and use that and it just got so kitchens like, so I lost my way.
Aycee Brown: 41:15
But the question I have then is how do you find your way right and also make money?
Vaness Henry: 41:25
I trust in my ability to always find a creative way to make money. So for me, maybe the experience is different. I lead from the heart, and I recognize that not everybody does that, so like I don't expect to always be understood when I speak about this, but I will always find a way to make a living. It's just always based on whatever I'm interested in and whatever I'm doing, and a part of where I'm at right now was like I got too caught up in teaching these tools to other people that I, the tools that I use.
Vaness Henry: 42:01
And now I'm like here's the way I use these tools, so I have my wellness club, for example. Now I'm like here's the way I use these tools, so I have my wellness club, for example, and these things are set up Like I need to just get away from teaching people how to read variable and get back or teach people how to journey you know what I mean and get back to working with someone and being like ah, I see this in you, like like getting back to what it is. I actually do that. I'm trying to teach people how to do Like. I stopped doing like.
Vaness Henry: 42:27
This is what I went through when I taught social media and digital marketing in colleges and universities. My business suffered because it was like I couldn't keep up with doing those things myself at that point and I had like an online. I had like an online crystal library that people could reference what their stones meant, and I sold stones and stuff, and so I was always marketing and selling that. But as soon as I had to go teach people how to do that, it's like my works in the world suffered because I couldn't keep doing it, because I had to go show others how to do it and guide them and then teach them and mark their papers. It just it just took me away from my actual work in the world because I was like focusing on teaching other people how to do their work in the world or some shit, so I just stopped doing my art.
Vaness Henry: 43:10
So, that's what I mean when I say I lost my way. So what? The resurgence in me is now what do I want to make? Do I want to make a shamanic album? I want to make a shamanic album. Do I want to have a shaman's Oracle deck? I want a shaman's oracle deck. Like you know what I mean. Like, yeah, I would. That's not something I would think to make before, because I was always focused on well, how can I make the teaching that will help the other?
Aycee Brown: 43:34
no, that makes sense.
Vaness Henry: 43:35
I guess I haven't figured out a path or no, but, ac, what I think I'm saying is I was following someone else's path and I what the resurgence and the moment was for me, it was like I'm on my own path, I'm not following someone else, like I'm doing what I want, and I trust I will always be okay and make a living for myself If I just follow what I want.
Aycee Brown: 44:00
That makes sense.
Vaness Henry: 44:01
That makes sense that makes sense, that makes sense, and for me it's what would be fun to make, what would be fun to see, what would be fun to experience.
Aycee Brown: 44:12
That's really what I follow. It's not like what's going to have the most impact. What's going?
Vaness Henry: 44:14
to make the most money. That's really not what motivates me at all. It's like what would be the most fun and who's going to be around me when I do it, because I don't like doing things alone. You know what I mean. I want my friends to come. It's not fun being rich and luxurious and being alone and lonely. That's boring. I want to fly on a jet with my friends, please. It is boring. It is if you don't have a buddy or you don't have a person, you don't have someone to go do that with. You don't have a crew, you don't have a girl. You know, it's like I wanted to go shopping the other day. I wanted to go to this little like witchy market fair thing and I had no one to go with, so I just didn't go why, because I didn't want to go with maybe, yeah, see that's.
Aycee Brown: 44:51
I wouldn't do that. I mean I'll go by myself.
Vaness Henry: 44:54
I know I'm like I could have, but I'm like it's not fun and I want to bring my kid, like when he would probably be who I go with next, but it's like but does he?
Aycee Brown: 45:03
is he at the stage where he doesn't want to hang out with you guys? No, he loves us okay he's all about us.
Vaness Henry: 45:08
We're cool to him, you know. You know I don't know how, but how long is that going to last, I don't know. We're going to as soon as it stops I'll let you know. But like, yeah, we're lucky with him, like mom and dad are his besties, you know, because there's one of them Good.
Vaness Henry: 45:21
Yeah, so he's just like always wants to do stuff with us it. So he's like I like you all. Yeah, we're lucky with him with that. He likes us right now. I don't expect it to last forever, but he likes us right now. That is something that was a big effect for me. Ac becoming a parent.
Aycee Brown: 45:41
Whoa, yeah, I'm not going to be doing that, right, right.
Vaness Henry: 45:45
We just made the call. You just said to me I'm, I'm taking that off the plate. What's this? What's the final? What's the feeling around?
Aycee Brown: 45:58
that now I feel so good about. I feel so empowered like I've decided I'm not having kids. You feel empowered yes, tell me about it so empowered. I feel like I unlocked a new level in my life, totally, and and and someone had wrote well, I put it, I wrote it on on threads, but someone had asked that question. Actually, they had said for my childless, single ladies 30 and older, what is one perk of being childless and single at your age? And so I put the. You know, my future planning feels more enjoyable because I can prioritize pleasure filled goals and not just responsibilities love that so that's.
Aycee Brown: 46:37
I feel that really strong, like you feel unburdened. Hey, yeah, like I. Just I thought about and I was like I don't want to parent in my 40s and 50s, that's not it doesn't sound fun for me. Good thing to follow. It doesn't sound exciting, and it's not that it has to be exciting, but it should be exciting.
Vaness Henry: 46:58
You can if you want it to be exciting that you're a you can want whatever you want it should be exciting.
Aycee Brown: 47:04
I think you should want to parent because if you fell in love, with someone who had kids. Would that be fine? Oh yeah, they can have kids, but I would prefer them to also have adult kids. Right there Like, yeah, I don't want to be. Like, oh, you know, we can do this when such and such gets into college. I would prefer them to have kids in a college already, or older Gotcha, okay, yeah, that would be ideal.
Vaness Henry: 47:28
I mean it's good to say what you want, get your ideals out there. I mean we could be open to anything happening. You fall in love. You fall in love. Do you know what I mean?
Aycee Brown: 47:35
Like, yeah, but I'm not. No, no children.
Vaness Henry: 47:40
No children, no Sagittarians and no manifesting generator.
Aycee Brown: 47:44
No Sagittarians, no manifesting generators. The I don't. I don't, the only way I would probably date a manifesting generator.
Vaness Henry: 47:54
AC, you're such a character to me. I get such a kick out of the rules you make for life.
Aycee Brown: 47:58
Is if they had an open head center and an open asana.
Vaness Henry: 48:03
Okay, wait, wait, wait. The only way you're willing and open to dating a manifesting generator is if they are undefined in their head. Am I hearing that?
Aycee Brown: 48:11
right Head and asana dating and manifesting generator is if they are undefined in their head.
Vaness Henry: 48:13
Am I hearing that? Right and head and ajna head areas just undefined. Open mind, then you're, then, then you're willing, then you're no, I'll be open, yeah, otherwise you're like factories, closed, not looking at you I'm good.
Aycee Brown: 48:24
Thank you for your services. You seem very nice, or they would have to be extremely healed Right, and that would be hot.
Vaness Henry: 48:35
You know it's like, oh shit, you went through your shit. You're on the journey, but the chances of that probably slim. Probability view says probably not going to happen.
Aycee Brown: 48:46
It would have. Yeah, that would.
Vaness Henry: 48:49
Well yeah. You seem in a sparkly place. You sound good. Are you happy right now? Why are these? Every time I ask an emotional person if they're happy, they're like they. What's going on? What's happiness? Vanessa a great question what is happiness to you? Am I happy?
Aycee Brown: 49:06
I am. I mean Happy. I am. I mean let's keep it 100. I'm a Sagittarius rising. I'm always going to be optimistic. I'm always going to be optimistic. I'm always going to have an optimism about life, what's happening in life, where my life is headed, all of that stuff. I am very optimistic. Are you happy? I don't.
Vaness Henry: 49:31
I'm trying to define what happiness means for me right now when's the last time you were happy, the last time I was?
Aycee Brown: 49:38
happy, probably when I was traveling, when I was out the country. Where were you traveling when I? Oh no, that's too far that that that's okay.
Vaness Henry: 49:49
That's the first thing that came to mind. We don't care when the last time, you like if it was yesterday or whatever, that's a good when I went to um brazil, when I went to rio rio, you were happy yeah, I really I'm going, I'm gonna go back.
Aycee Brown: 50:02
What was going on? I well, that was, when you know voldermort one, we'll call him voldermort one. That was happening.
Vaness Henry: 50:10
What the hell is that I don't, I don't know. Voldemort one. That must be a new phrase you have not, I'm not privy to this nickname. We'll, we'll talk who's the dweeb, who's voldemort one. So okay, so wait, it's a, it's a past love. Who sucks?
Aycee Brown: 50:22
past love. Who sucks? Yes, okay, so voldemort. One was in my life, so that felt good oh, voldemort is from harry pot, from Harry Potter.
Vaness Henry: 50:31
I didn't read those, sorry, I'm with you. Okay, I'm with you, let's keep let's continue.
Aycee Brown: 50:34
So that felt good, but it wasn't about him. I think it was about the. It was. Well, no, it's not. That doesn't.
Vaness Henry: 50:42
You were in love. I enjoyed that.
Aycee Brown: 50:43
Trent yeah, but that wasn't it. No, that was a good time. Listen to this hymning and hymning yeah my business felt really flourishing then, yeah, I felt like Things were flowing. Yeah, things were flowing, even though that turned out to be disastrous.
Vaness Henry: 51:00
But it wasn't the whole time. There were times where there was happiness. I'm hearing oh yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Happy, so is happy. So is life not flowing right now, I wonder it feels like what's going on, miss brown?
Aycee Brown: 51:20
is it what's happening? Is it flowing or is it still waters? Yeah, it's very, very, still, very yeah, it's very much.
Vaness Henry: 51:34
It's giving limbo this is gonna be a little bold. Have you had sex recently? No, I haven't had maybe you need to get fucked. You know what I mean.
Aycee Brown: 51:43
Like maybe there should be yeah, but I'm not, I'm not I don't, we're not, we're not open not if I'm not in a relationship I hear you, I'm not, I hear you. That's too unsafe for me. Sorry, I'm the same yeah, that's too.
Vaness Henry: 51:56
I like me. I like the idea in theory of going out, meet people and it sounds great, I'm like, I'm terrified.
Vaness Henry: 52:02
I don't know you, you're gonna kill me yeah, it sounds great, but it's not for me I'm just thinking that we I bring that up because of the like it can, especially with emotional people pent up, like I know there's masturbation, I get it, yeah, but like that connection valleys to love and like that into that kind of intimacy, you know. Then you're traveling, you're moving. I wonder, I'm just wondering what it is that gets you flowing, no pun intended, but a little bit probably. Money, money, hey, money will get everyone wet, you know what I mean.
Aycee Brown: 52:34
Whatever, yeah, money, money being able to like do stuff like I need to. I'm gonna. I'm planning a trip. I'm gonna go away in december, but I need to be on planes more that really makes me happy, I really love to travel, go to nice, nice hotels, relax, explore the hotel, the area in the hotel, eat at nice restaurants. That makes me very happy. What is this, you think? Freedom.
Vaness Henry: 53:00
Like connect. What are you getting from that?
Aycee Brown: 53:03
Just something about being somewhere different and meeting people and, yeah, the vacation of it all.
Vaness Henry: 53:13
I'm going to ask this and I'm I'm most interested in the very first thing that comes to mind. Okay, what do you believe in?
Aycee Brown: 53:19
I believe in opulence.
Vaness Henry: 53:24
Opulence. You believe in opulence. What does opulence mean to you?
Aycee Brown: 53:28
Opulence, spirituality, safety, security those are my values. What you believe in I'm hearing, yeah, but I also believe that we are all divine core belief, but maybe it's the pisces in me. I believe that we should be living magical lives like it should be, like a fairy tale. Love that's delusional, no, but yeah, I believe that I believe you should be able to do what you want when you want it, regardless of what that is, and that's how life should be. What do you not believe in? Not actualizing your dreams.
Vaness Henry: 54:09
Don't believe in not actualizing your dreams.
Aycee Brown: 54:14
Yeah.
Vaness Henry: 54:15
Something I really believe in. This is not language I would really use. I try not to speak like that very much, but I'm going to play the game as well. People man, I believe in people. I got this. I know people could be shitheads and then when something is going on, people come together. That's, I guess, the holiest thing. Like there's these videos of like roller coasters that are like, oh, there's something went wrong. It's like, oh, my god, and you can like see it happening and the people come like random people come, rush and try and hold it in place gives me the chills power of humanity. Like I have this deep belief in people. It's wild and people can let you down, I would.
Aycee Brown: 54:54
I will say this for you the first thing that came up for me with that and don't take this the wrong way I was like oh, that's because of your privilege, you can believe in people. I don't.
Vaness Henry: 55:06
I think that's a extremely accurate statement you can.
Aycee Brown: 55:10
you can believe in people for sure, because people can let you down.
Vaness Henry: 55:13
I don't have that privilege People can.
Aycee Brown: 55:15
I don't have that privilege to believe in people. Is it fair to say you don't believe in people? I believe in.
Vaness Henry: 55:24
I'm also hearing the three, five and the six two here.
Aycee Brown: 55:27
I believe in my kind of people. Who are they Allies? I can't even tell With the world that it is today and, living in America and being a Black American, my belief in people gets skewed so much. Of course, I could see that I was just in bed thinking and just listening to some discourse and TikToks and all that YouTube. I could see that I was just in bed thinking and just listening to some discourse and TikToks and all and YouTube and the political climate that we live in and everything, and I don't, I don't. I don't think people understand the magnitude of building a country and not being able to benefit from it like I can literally go down my ancestral tree and tell you things about my ancestors and how they have not benefited from dream.
Vaness Henry: 56:27
Yeah, so being living in, being a black body in that, feels overwhelming sometimes so I'm I'm thinking about this from the perspective to a belief system, right of like, how you see yourself, how you identify. Yes, available, so yeah, yeah, but that's why sometimes I don't.
Aycee Brown: 56:47
So, yeah, but that's why sometimes I don't get so upset with the Christian crusaders, as I call them, because especially black Americans who have been indoctrinated in Christianity. Yeah because it's like well, what else you going to believe? I get it, I get it.
Vaness Henry: 57:06
Because you're saying they need that. Yes, to have hope. Yes, to have something to keep.
Aycee Brown: 57:10
Yes, To have hope.
Vaness Henry: 57:11
Yes, To have something to keep going.
Aycee Brown: 57:13
To have something to keep going. But then I also counter in saying you can find that with multiple things and within yourself.
Vaness Henry: 57:22
Yeah, oh, my God, some of the most evolved commentary I saw on this. As soon as you can make fun of something in an articulate way, I think it's like oh, there's a different type of learning, that's happened there or something okay, and his name is escaping me right now, but he's this. He's a black comedian and he's like, as a black, as a black man, we have a little bit of a issue with like reincarnation, like we like it, you know, because there's a chance for me to not like have to be in this fucking life anymore, but also that means I could have been a white guy in the past and I could have had slaves. He's like oh well, like you know, he goes off and I was like oh my god, I was like you could feel in him healing of something.
Vaness Henry: 58:06
Something has been healed there.
Aycee Brown: 58:08
The way he was able to so gracefully talk about something, so you know, horrendous and it's so funny that you say that anytime I do a past life regression, I never go back to that time. Interesting why. And I'm, I don't know, I'm gonna, I'm going to, I'm going to do it. What do you?
Vaness Henry: 58:30
mean, I never go back to that time, to slavery. You never go back there and pass life regressions.
Aycee Brown: 58:36
Okay, that's interesting, it's very interesting. I always go back to different times that don't include that and that bothers me. Why?
Vaness Henry: 58:49
Because I know what's your perception that you're picking up on here.
Aycee Brown: 58:52
I know that I've had a history there. I feel I feel it. Harriet Tubman died on my birthday, I feel it Like. So I feel it. So it's yeah, it's interesting. So I'm I'm going to try and do a past life regression with this black woman that I found, that someone recommended to me. What are you hoping to find? Just answers to, to the, the pain I carry, the way I look at life, your belief system interesting, yeah keep me.
Vaness Henry: 59:30
I'm interested. I'm interested to hear what you find there, if you're open to sharing that with me, because yeah, that is interesting that you don't have any type of regressions toward that, especially someone with your breed, like with your psychic mediumship.
Aycee Brown: 59:44
You know exactly that is curious for sure. So either my body is trying to forget heavily or that's well not. It's my body's just trying to forget. Something is trying to forget heavily or that's well not. It's my body's just trying to forget Something's trying to forget that you couldn't. You couldn't give me an, or hey, yeah, I don't know what the or is.
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