No. 2 - What the Reflector showed me
Vaness Henry: 0:06
Hello, I want to tell you about this reflector that came into my life and I want to preface this with I can get very lost in reflectors. I can get really caught up in their story. Get really caught up in their story Historically. When a reflector has come into my life, it takes me some time to, you know, honestly, shake their spirits from my aura. I can really feel for the reflector's story. I find that when they come into relationship with me, through whatever means that happens, that I get very courageous, very bold. There's something about the reflector's presence that enlivens something in me. I started working privately with a 6'2 reflector. Now I'm the 6'2 character and when the 6'2 reflector came into my life I was like oh boy, what are we going to see here Now?
Vaness Henry: 1:20
On the surface, this reflector's life was a dream life Runs their own interior design store. You know, has this interior design background, which is something I absolutely love, something I always kind of wanted to go into as a kid. But you know, my life took me on a little bit different path. This person had a DJing background, really plugged into a super cool music scene. Just the details sounded so fun.
Vaness Henry: 1:53
So to hear that this reflector had stage four breast cancer was challenging because this was a very intense, activating subject that was close to my heart, having grown up with a parent who went to stage four melanoma, which is skin cancer. Watching him pass away, then going through my own experience having a terminal illness but I was stage two B. There's different stages in cancer depending on how that illness has spread throughout the system. So when I heard stage four, you know my heart dropped a little bit and then I had to go do a little bit of research about this type of cancer and how there is a prognosis of you know where I'll treat you for the rest of your life and you can have a decent quality of life. This is just something that is going on with you and we will need to be adjusting your treatment based on how you, your body, responds to it over time. So a very different treatment than from what I had. My treatment was. You know, we're going to go into these intense few cycles and rounds of chemotherapy three days a week in a row and then we're going to take a week off, another week off and then we'll reset around the third and fourth week treatment and then, once we get through those six rounds or nine rounds or however many rounds we need. We'll then move into radiation and we will kind of fry the remaining tissue so that it's like a deadened mass within the body. This, I've now learned, is a far too aggressive treatment for the type of cancer I had, and it's not how we treat it. Going forward and so to hear of this reflector story and how they were being treated and how there are certain medicines that will be, you know, administered to the body, and then, when the body stops sort of responding to those medicines, we will apply different ones, and it's kind of like I'm going to be honest with you it sounds very experimental for the sake of living as long as possible and trying all these other ways of taking care of the body, through food, through diet, through exercise. You know all all the things, all these things.
Vaness Henry: 4:15
So anyway, when this reflector came into my life, I was excited and I was also cautious because in my experience working with reflectors, I know I can get so absorbed in their story. I'm feeling for them so much. I'm up thinking about them, I'm staring at the sunrise and sunsets and I'm daydreaming about these characters and their stories and I can just get very into them. You know, I think this is part of what is um special about the reflector. I do want to say I hold the reflector in a very high regard, okay, and and I'm learning that not everybody does that, which is kind of surprising to me, to be honest I'm like, oh my God, like why, why wouldn't you? This is the greatest teacher that's going to come across your path. You know that's how I feel, not to put the reflector up on a too intense pedestal, but for real, like, what are they showing you about yourself, what are you seeing in them and what teachings are you taking through that story?
Vaness Henry: 5:14
So, in working with this reflector, you know, I found myself thinking what if I was given a 20 year life expectancy? You know what if, what if that was something that was given to me? Now we never, we never know when we're going to pass away. We could live, uh, we could die tomorrow. We could live well beyond that 20 years. But how would it feel for me if that was a prognosis given to me? On the one hand, there's a part of it that's devastating and, on another hand, there's a part of that that I find very empowering. You know, while clock is set, then let's fucking go. What am I here doing? And so, just having that reflector around me, I really felt that in me, like this big fire in the heart. And this fire in the heart, this blaze, you know, really charging me ahead, just saying what I want to say. Here's my opinions on this. I know not everybody will resonate with this, this is what I've seen. I don't know if I'm right, I don't know if I'm wrong, but you know it was. It's just very activating for me. I suppose is the best way to say that.
Vaness Henry: 6:17
And as I was getting into this reflector story and I look for details, I started to realize that the body graph had to me, for something about it facilitates this scrying sense in me. Now I want to say I've always had some sort of little relationship to scrying in some way, and one of my most um recognized perhaps is the word to use. One of my most cherished practices of scrying was through the art of lithomancy, which is casting materials and interpreting what they mean based on where they land. So let's say you had a collection of pine cones and sticks and rocks and little things you collected, and you cast them on some type of surface, depending where they lay, you would interpret it. And I started doing this with crystal spheres and each crystal represented some different aspect of the life and depending on where the querent would cast those stones, I would interpret it.
Vaness Henry: 7:18
I could kind of see what wasn't there, the messaging that was actually going on beneath them, and, like this really does require us to have an open mind, like I know that seems weird. How is somebody doing this? And I would kind of just allow myself. Here's what I'm seeing through what you've cast, and I was always surprised at how much this impacted people. In fact, my um, my virtual manager, who's been with me for years, uh, was somebody I did crystal reading for and that kind of got us connected. You know what I mean. And here we are, years later still working together, and so I've sort of had this scrying aspect to my character and I think about that as somebody who is need motivation, with an action sense, you know so, somebody who is seeing the information that isn't there.
Vaness Henry: 8:01
There is sometimes a psychicness with fourth tones and fourth colors. I notice, and I don't claim to have that, um, but what I do think is going on is that I can see certain things that aren't there and I can break them down and explain it through that action sense. And when I look at the body graph, some things that have started to happen are, if I get a little bit of the life story and particularly this happens with people who've had illnesses or chronic illness or disease or something like that manifest in the body Um, they come to me and they give me a little bit of their story and then I look at the body graph and the depths and it's almost like I can see the potential where the there's vulnerabilities and where this might've happened in the storyline, cause you carry this potential. You know, it's very weird and I'm in a kind of a funny territory with that, if I'm being honest. And this was all kind of coming alive more loudly as I worked with this reflector who, by the way, I did reach out and say, as a six two reflector, I find your story to be incredibly powerful and I would love to share it anonymously and I was given permission to do that.
Vaness Henry: 9:07
So with this reflector, as I kind of poked more and did some digging and asking some questions, I learned that they had been in a relationship for over a decade and this relationship was not healthy and this reflector had been partnered with a manifester who was incredibly angry and held some of the most intense anger in their bodies that this reflector had ever experienced. And throughout this reflector story and having been with this person for a significant part of the life, there's this bond. The reflector then went on the roof with this person you know what I mean and didn't want to continue the relationship. But then there was a trauma that happened to the manifestor who at that point was struggling with alcoholism and dealing with their anger and dealing with their emotions, and the reflector was there kind of holding space for that but didn't want to be around that anymore. And then this kind of tragic event happens to the manifester and so the reflector stays and the reflector stays for years and when they finally separate and are no longer together, the reflector is diagnosed with cancer.
Vaness Henry: 10:22
I find this very interesting. You know is diagnosed with cancer. I find this very interesting, you know, because of the dynamics at play Now. Breast cancer, of course, is something in the chest and if you know anything about part of my studies and when I look at the body graph I'm always looking I read a high volume of charts with people who've been sick, sick and specifically cancer, just because of my own story and I see a lot of tumor growth in undefined centers or totally open centers. Now that's not unanimously.
Vaness Henry: 10:56
I've seen people who get some type of tumor development, um, where they're defined. I just read somebody who had the same cancer as me but had a defined, all defined centers where the tumors were and it was a bunch of cluster of tumors that came in the body all around the definition. And you know, it's so interesting when I looked at the definition, the G center and heart were defined but there wasn't really much activated gates there and so there was all this space around the definition and I was like is and this is presenting with multiple tiny tumors everywhere, but same cancer as me, you know, and my tumor was one giant tumor in the chest cavity. So it's not that I'm saying you're, we're all getting cancer in our undefined centers, you know it's it's more so of looking at the body graph in this different kind of way. So when I had a reflector come to me who was experiencing cancer, all the centers are open, right Like, or everything is undefined, I should say. So I was like let's look at this now differently. And the G center in this reflector was totally open, as was the head, so I was looking at that, as those are going to be potentially the most vulnerable areas.
Vaness Henry: 12:10
Now, when we look into, you know, some translations around breast and oh, this, this, there was also tumors or the head metastasized to the liver in this story, and liver holds a lot of anger and breast can holds um shame and you know, not not taking care of the self, not nourishing the self and as a reflector and I explored this a little more deeply what came out was the reflector was feeling a lot of anger and bitterness and resentment and frustration, like the whole gamut of emotions, because they felt as if they had stayed with this person for so long and they wasted a certain decade of their life, which is not true and they knew that. But there was this sense of like I'm angry with myself. Now I think it's important to say the reflector was not angry with the manifester. The reflector had reached this place of realizing I'm not angry at them, I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at myself for staying. And now, when we look and we translate the breast and issues with the breast and not nourishing the self, putting everybody else before you, everybody else's needs before you. This can create issues in the breast. I just felt like a story was illuminating, and now the reflector is judging themselves. Look at where I am now and those some of my best years are now gone and I can't get them back. And that's what that is. But what am I learning from this? And what's interesting is there are two cats in the situation and one cat has passed away and another one is still there but is quite, quite old, and both the cats had kidney disease, which is tiny lumps of anger.
Vaness Henry: 14:06
Now I find animals incredibly interesting, especially with what they seem to absorb from their primary caregiver or their environment. Just last season I was going through not last season, a couple seasons ago now I was going through some dental stuff and at the exact same time my dog's health was rattled and it wasn't my dog's teeth, it was my dog's um, like bowels, like she was losing control of her bladder and um. When I went to the vet and I kind of expressed, the vet was going on and you know, there's some things going on with me. We then went for a follow-up. At this point I'm better and my dog gets her scans and they can't find anything wrong with her. She seems better too and they're like okay, sorry, we kind of stopped me and said the number of times we see that there is something going on with the primary caregiver or stress in the environment and the animal seems to absorb that and exhibit symptoms that the primary caregiver has is is astounding.
Vaness Henry: 15:10
She's like it would shock you how often we see that. And this isn't a spiritual person, this isn't. I'm not getting into human design or energetics with them, this is just a vet telling me this, into human design or energetics with them. This is just a vet telling me this. And I feel I have seen that a lot as well that the animal will exhibit certain behaviors because the animal is in a way so bonded and trying to take away some of the ailments that the human is experiencing.
Vaness Henry: 15:34
And so when I come to this reflector story and I see these two cats with the same disease how peculiar in the environment where this all went on, and now their primary caregiver is unwell and slowly but surely they're having sort of things go on with their body. One cat has passed, another cat is potentially stage three, maybe going into stage four, kidney failure, and so you know this is a senior cat as well, but just thinking about these details and that the primary caregiver is a potent, powerful reflector just makes you think, does it not? It makes me think and when I'm looking at this reflector story and I'm looking at the things that went on, this reflector has all these fifth tones just plugging into the frequency field, sharing the energetics you know, really vulnerable design in that way and imagining this reflector in this toxic relationship. By the way, this reflector is markets, so highly sensitive body and this reflector is in this toxic relationship for over a decade Um, finally separates from this relationship, goes through the pandemic terrifying that I always think about how that must have rattled the reflector community, the pandemic experience. I think reflectors would have felt that differently than some of us.
Vaness Henry: 16:53
And then this reflector is diagnosed with this horrible illness and it kind of aligns you in a way and illuminates things when you get unwell because it's like what am I here for? What am I living for? I'm not here forever, you know, it can be very motivating in a way. It can really align your perspective and give you perspective very quickly. At least in my experience and in witnessing others, that is what I've seen to be true, and it made me kind of dig into my personal thesis of us getting sick through the environment. Now, there's no way to really prove this right. There's only data and stories to collect and share with people. So we might be talking about this more and evaluating the dynamics we have between the people we're in relationship with, and where this gets really hard is when we have a long history with someone or they're in our family or we have a deep love for them in a way. But there is something about the dynamic that isn't healthy and it can make I feel each of us sick.
Vaness Henry: 17:57
I would also consider alcoholism an illness. You know I've had family members who struggled with this, and I think it is an affliction to the spirit as well. There is something going on that it needs to be dealt with and is not in this case with the reflector and manifestor. This was a manifestor who had a lot of anger from whatever their experiences were in their life and they perhaps did not know how to cope with that and perhaps turned to drinking as a way to numb out and not have to be with those angry sensations. And when I just think about how this would then feel through the reflector form. It makes me pause for thought. You know how is a reflector going to experience this? And then, in this situation, the reflector has gotten ill and it's around centers having to do with some anger and processing shame and taking care of yourself instead of others. You know what I mean. It just makes me pause and think and I do wonder if we're going to get to this place of looking at the body graph with this eye of sort of scrying.
Vaness Henry: 19:03
I think there is potential to be proactive with our wellness when we look at the body graph and we see what our unique potentials are. You know, when we see we have a very sensitive body or a very sensitive personality, or when we see we're very sensitive to frequencies and vibes and the acoustics and sharing the electromagnetic field with others and what can be passed through that or through the sense of touch. You know what I mean. It's not that if we have an undefined center we're going to get cancer there. That's not what I'm saying and I don't ever want to incite fear here.
Vaness Henry: 19:36
You know I have had people around me who you know I really emphasize this and then they get so freaked out and anxious that, like I'm so open. I have all this openness, I'm going to get sick, oh my God. And that is the last thing that we can experience when we are unhealthy. And read the potentials available to us that we might experience when we are healthy. None of this is saying like this is definitely what's going to happen. This is definitely not what's going to happen. But you know, if I see somebody with a totally open head, I can see we're going to be vulnerable to what we believe in. We're going to be vulnerable to how we think, we're going to be vulnerable to the stresses and the anxiety of those around us. So what kind of pressures are in the environment growing up? I don't know. For me it seems like it always comes back to environment, and environment is not just our surroundings, but what fills that space and so much of this that fills that space is the relationships.
Vaness Henry: 20:44
So when this reflector story came into my path, I was kind of like, oh God, this is a six two, this is a reflector. They're the same character. What are they going to show me about myself? What am I going to see within them? How am I going to feel about this? And I kind of went into it with. I was willing to go into it and I went into it with a certain amount of openness and ready to kind of learn. And did I learn? I feel like I'm going to. It's going to take me some time to um, really feel what I need to feel from this experience and kind of coming into contact with that reflector in this way, but there's a part of me that is so motivated by their story and so inspired by the way they live their life.
Vaness Henry: 21:27
Now this reflector has this diagnosis and let's keep in mind, there is six too. This is someone who is seeking their soulmate and this reflector wants to date. You know, and there's all these ethics now that come online, like, can you date if you have this diagnosis? Well, of course you can. Of course you can, but how would you navigate that and is it fair to the other and what are the terms and boundaries and rules? And so this reflector has learned like, in order to date, they need to go on a few dates before they can obviously reveal this is going on, but of course it freaks some people out and pushes some people away and I think about how that would feel. You know, as a six line who's seeking the soulmate and wants to have that deep connection, to go through life sharing experiences with the other, because it's enriching to just have a beautiful moment or a hard moment and be able to share that with someone else. So much of our learning and growing process comes through that. And, of course, we know there's a totally open G center in this reflector, like I said.
Vaness Henry: 22:25
So love is going to be a huge theme and can you imagine dating, having this kind of going on in your life? I just think that is. I thought I'm going to be honest with you. There's an aspect of that that I find really, really heartbreaking, especially as a six line knowing how valuable the bond is, knowing now you know you want to connect with someone and be intimate with someone, but there's this stuff going on with your body and you're a hermit and so what are you willing to share and can you really open up and gosh? You just want to love and bond and fall in love and there's this whole other fucking thing in the background. You know it's just a lot. It's just a lot and it makes you think about other things.
Vaness Henry: 23:08
This is a reflector. Who's a business owner running their own shop, an interior designer going out and still needing to make ends meet. Meanwhile, this is all going on in the background. How many people are out there trying to live their life and they're trying to run their business and take care of themselves because they're entrepreneurs and they're chronically unwell and so many of us don't even know that? Like that's just. That upsets me. You know these people trying to live their best life and they have this whole big thing looming around them. You know to to go through chemotherapy and put your body through that is a fucking lot and it is incredibly traumatic to the body. Yes, these medicines can save us at times and they're also incredibly destructive and leave significant damage to the form.
Vaness Henry: 23:58
Now, I have high respect for the medical community and doctors and I had a great team of doctors, so I don't want to be misheard that I don't resonate with the medical community. I think they do phenomenal, a phenomenal job of putting us back together when we're broken in these times of emergencies. And although we're still learning about nutrition and how to properly take care of ourselves and feed ourselves when we need to be healing and the medical system perhaps isn't as adept there I don't think that the medical system is going away. I'm the first to tell you if something's going on with your body, go to the doctor. But also, let us look at the other signs. You're that. Let's look at this another way as well.
Vaness Henry: 24:37
I wanted to share this story of the reflector with you because it's very powerful to me and it really makes me consider the relationships around us. I feel like so much of my work is sharing with people and giving them permission and even encouraging them sometimes to shift the dynamic of the relationships around us. Sometimes I and even encouraging them sometimes to shift the dynamic of the relationships around us. Sometimes I'm even encouraging people to fucking put distance between them and their family. But it's my family. Yeah Well, your family has a lot of toxic shit going on, oof that can be hard to hear sometimes, you know, and those friendships you've had forever, they're fucking so pessimistic and they're always spewing stuff in your ear that doesn't even feel good to listen to. It doesn't feel good to be in these relationships anymore.
Vaness Henry: 25:23
Well, what is really happening when we stay in those relationships, when it's not feeling good? What is happening to our forms, our bodies, when we do that? And this reflectors teaching to me was you know, what I've really learned now is that when it doesn't feel good for me, I really need to respect that. And this reflector is three fifth tones, you know, like they're so freaking plugged into that frequency field and I must choose what I want to do and what feels good for me, and if it doesn't feel good for me, I must just respect that. And that's the big teaching that they're getting while trying to take care of themselves, while nurturing a sick pet, while running their own business and while trying to get out there and date people like fuck.
Vaness Henry: 26:11
Anyway, I was really impacted by this and I really wanted to share it with you, because I think it's a heck of a story and I think it makes us consider our relationships and the patterns we were in for really long times and as we continue to evolve and mature, some of us develop neuroses or chronic illness or certain ways we need to care for our body and I do think this is from some of the lessons we are learning from zero to 30, in that first life phase that we all go through. Should we live long enough? And whatever our experiences through that phase show us, um, how we deal with it, how we process it in our middle life phases, we're in our thirties, we're in our forties and even going into our fifties. If we are not dealing with it, if we are not coming to terms with some of our experiences and processing what has happened to us, I do wonder if it can stay too long in the form, turn septic in a way and manifest as some type of illness. I really think there is something there and to that, and I think there is still more data to collect to show how that might be or how that could possibly be.
Vaness Henry: 27:19
But when I'm around this reflector man does it create a drive in me to kind of go after that, and then it kind of becomes easier to not get caught up in some of the politics, let's say around the culture and studies like human design. I really don't care about that, and sometimes people will try and drag me into that and so-and-so said this and so-and-so said that, and at the end of the day I'm like I don't care about this. I'm looking at something that is much more beyond just what the community wants to argue about in regards to who agrees with what and who doesn't agree with what, agrees with what and who doesn't agree with what. At the end of the day, I've had some experiences that were really jarring, and now I see things through that frame of mind and through those experiences and to me it seems like there's a larger story at play here that we shouldn't lose sight of. So, even though sometimes I can get caught or alerted to the drama it reminds me, I don't actually care about that. I'm looking for something else here and do not distract me. I'm on a personal view mission and I don't want to be distracted by power view types of things.
Vaness Henry: 28:26
So I hope this makes you think about some of the things that you've experienced in your life. If you're dealing with any type of illnesses or maladies in your form right now, consider it through the lens of well, what have I experienced in my life? Who have I been in relationship with? Sometimes getting out of a relationship can leave a bruise or a hole in some way, and what does that do to me? And sometimes we are in relationships that are hard to break apart from, even though we know they're not well, they're not good for us and they don't make us well. And what do we do with that? And how do we create, how do we put space between us and that relationship, to give ourselves a chance to call our spirits back to our bodies and check in with how we're feeling.
Vaness Henry: 29:12
So consider the relationships you have around you right now and the ones that don't feel so good for whatever reason, as they come to mind to you while I'm talking about this. Just consider, you know, have I out? Have I stayed in this relationship longer than I would like is? Has this, was this relationship once great, and has it turned stale and expired for whatever reason? Is there a way I can put distance between me and this other in a compassionate way? Can I take responsibility for the part I play in this role, in this dynamic between the two of us? I've had, you know, through my deconditioning journey, lost important friends, us. I've had, you know, through my deconditioning journey, lost important friends, significant friends, and it doesn't mean there is any ill will between me and this other person, but it does mean I need to take some accountability for the part I play in the dynamic between us, and sometimes that means I need to end the relationship.
Vaness Henry: 30:11
At this time it does not feel good for me to go forward and I think there is an aspect of me where that can feel brutal sometimes and I understand that potential is there, especially on my aura once it closes. But at the end of the day, if I am trekking toward this personal thesis that we make one another well and unwell through the dynamic we exchange, I must be strict in who I will allow and will not allow around me, especially being a hermit, especially being someone who has a two deep in their body, who is very sensitive to some of these things. And it's not that I want to develop a reputation where I fucking cut people off and seem egotistical like you're not good enough to be around me. That is so not what this is. This is recognizing something here doesn't feel good. If it's not good for me, it's also not going to be good for you, and I don't want to become resentful toward you and spew that back to you. I want us both to be well, you and spew that back to you. I want us both to be well and I trust that, through some distance and letting things go, a new season will always come back around and we may cross paths again.
Vaness Henry: 31:25
But for this time, there are lessons we need to do on our own. We need to separate from certain energies sometimes to heal and process what we learned through that relationship. I feel like everything's going to come back down to relationships and how we were raised and what we received or didn't receive, and we needed what we learned about our own character and other people's character and the dynamic that rose between us. So, bowing to all reflectors, as always, you know, if a reflector comes across our path, may we bow to them and what they're experiencing, what they are feeling in ways that we can't relate to, and let them show us, wow, what is this showing me about myself? I think they're incredible teachers for that and ultimately, I bow to this reflector who's come into my life and shown me that life can end at any time and are we living the way we want to be living? Are we living our best life? I am taking it as this reflector showing me the immense value in our relationships around us.
Vaness Henry: 32:34
And if there's a reflector in your life, how might you be able to bow to them at this time? And what they show you about yourself? Even if you are a reflector, you might be in community with other reflectors. You know, how might you bow to the reflector so you can bow to yourself? Ultimately, that's what I think they show us.
Vaness Henry: 32:54
So take some time to feel into your relationships, notice who comes to mind and who doesn't feel good.
Vaness Henry: 33:00
There's nothing you have to do at this time, but just notice that and as you accept that some things don't feel good anymore maybe they never felt good and as you face that, as you no longer run from that, you'll be able to make a change in the boundaries and dynamics between you and that person in a way that feels better for you and will feel better in your body.
Vaness Henry: 33:23
And ultimately, I think that's kind of what we're all waking up to. You know, oh, I don't have to be in relationship with people who are just around me, and that's why the study of human design can be so lonely and alienating at times, because as you go deeper into this and you reevaluate your whole lifestyle, you see you set things up in some ways that aren't really healthy for you, and then you have to contend with shifting that and changing that, and that's where the alienation can come in. Wow, I'm losing my people or I'm losing this, yeah, but you might've been in, you might've entered into that relationship for the wrong reasons in the fucking first place. So how can we be gracious with ourselves and the others into our life and, ultimately, the most loving thing we can do for the other is recognize the role we play, recognize the part we're playing in the dynamic between us and take some responsibility for it. Thank you.
